The loss of the gift

 

What happens when the thing that once defined you disappears?

I was a gifted kid.

There was a time when I could walk into an exam without fear. Whether I studied or not. Things just clicked.

At some point, that stopped. I could no longer recall the day or the year it all started falling apart.

I was still able to understand the material, although understanding was no longer enough. 

I could explain to you everything perfectly in a conversation, talk through ideas, connect them, and make them make sense. Yet the moment I sat in an exam room, everything vanished. As if the knowledge never belonged to me in the first place.

This made me start asking myself, to this day, I could not honestly tell you if I have the answers.

"Who am I without what makes me special?"

"What happens when effort replaces talent and is still not enough?"

"What if the problem isn't discipline, but rather fear? 

"What is actually wrong with me?"

The person I am becoming doesn't have the answer yet. 

I don't know if the gift is gone. I only know that I miss the version of myself who wasn't afraid to try.

She never missed the opportunity to learn and shared her knowledge with the world. 

Who wasn't trapped in a black tunnel, waiting for a tiny light strong enough to pull me out, while negative thoughts try to eat her down from the inside,

Hi hope this post can help or find someone in this same situation